Where are those dinner tables?!?
Why am surrounding myself with people, communities, and content that pushes me
“You are who you hang out with” - every Mom in the history of ever.
I’ve totally told my kids that because it’s 10,000% true. YOU.ARE.WHO.YOU.HANG.OUT.WITH.
Back in 2015, when everything kind of changed for my business (and my life), I found the online business community. Like, I had had a few *tiny* Facebook groups I’d been a part of from 2011-2015 but, honestly, they were kind of toxic and were more niche groups that happened to own businesses (think “Stay-at-home Mom Bosses" or whatever).
Finding that online business community LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE. I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s freakin’ true. Finding those Facebook groups showed me that people (women, specifically) all over the country (world) were making money in their own business - like, real money, not just enough to help pay their car payment every month. Those Facebook groups led to friendships of likeminded people, like REAL life-long friendships. Those Facebook groups led to finding business podcasts. Those Facebook groups led to believing in myself and making 5x my normal income that year. Those Facebook groups led to finding people who believed in me enough to let me speak at conferences. Those Facebook groups changed my life.
Because YOU ARE WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH.
To be honest, the last few years, a lot of my OG business friends have either completely quit, taken a step back, went dark, or we’ve just kind of grown apart, and because of that I am not really having as many business conversations as I used to.
I used to spend HOURS per week talking business with other people and now, if I’m lucky, I spend an hour/month talking to my mastermind; but also, beyond that part, business is stale - like we were all new to it all in 2015; courses were new, digital products were new, digital marketing was innovative, webinars were fun to figure out, email marketing was cool, and there were new strategies on the block all the time.
And now it’s just kind of boring. The things that work work and the things that don’t don’t.
I think that’s why the “creator economy” is such a big deal - it’s “new”, it’s fresh, it’s refreshing, it’s kind of the wild west.
Wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I don’t talk to a lot of my business friends as much.
I have felt really stagnant in the last few years and I think a lot of that is not having deep conversations on the regular about topics that push me. Y’all, I have ADHD and small talk/surface-level shit ain’t my thang, I NEED to push my brain, I need to challenge myself and learn and grow.
I was listening to a podcast the other day where Cleo Abram was the guest (Cleo is an awesome tech and science YouTube Journalist, if you don’t follow her) and whoever was interviewing her was asking her how she picks topics for her videos, and her answer was something like (not a direct quote), “It’s usually the things people are seeing on the news and kind of know about but don’t totally know the deep parts of; like quantum computing, they’ve likely heard of it and want to know more.” Then, she proceeded to say that they’re dinner table conversations or something she is talking to her friends about.
And it literally stopped me in my tracks - “WHERE ARE THESE DINNER TABLES?!? I WANT TO HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS ON THE REGULAR!” (Guys, I don’t actually want to talk about quantum computing, but, keep reading.)
Of course we have deep conversations at my own dinner table because I like to push my kids to think about things they may not normally think about, but that’s not really the point here.
I am one of those people that knows a little bit about a lot of things because I LOVE learning and do regular deep dives on my own about some of the most random stuff 🤣.
Like, I think my brain hasn’t been pushed in different directions by the everyday conversations I have for a long time, I haven’t been excited about learning things in a while and, I’ve spent so many years creating content that doesn’t push me too.
As many online friends as I have, I still find myself immersed in my “real world” A LOT more these days than I was in 2015/2016 and, to be honest, I find myself immersed in A LOT of superficial relationships that are just surface-level.
See, back in 2015/2016, my kids were preschoolers/young elementary-aged, I obviously wasn’t working in any type of company here, and I really wasn’t around people I didn’t want to be around locally, and 99.999% of my daily interactions were with my online community.
I LOVE the basketball parents we’ve aligned ourselves with on one of my kids’ travel teams but we’re not sitting around talking about anything deeper than kids sports and local drama (listen, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE local drama and kids sports, ha, I’m just building a road here to a point I’ve got to make).
Most of the people I’m around on a daily basis are of the same mindset, believe the same things, vote the same ways, and have very “normal” jobs, so I don’t relate a ton AND, to be COMPLETELY honest, most people around here aren’t interested in learning new things, seeing things from different perspectives, or really anything other than living the same day over and over and calling it a life.
*If anyone local is reading this, I do NOT mean everyone and if we’re friends it’s likely BECAUSE you don’t fit this mold, but I’ll definitely commit to a sweeping generalization.*
Like, when you dive into the business world, people are setting goals in both their personal and business lives; they’re *mostly* learning and trying new things, and the conversations are about success, growth, mindsets, and health.
And I remember the first time (circa 2015) I had the thought that the reason I had never thought about a lot of those things was because nobody around me was and I resolved to NEVER go back to NOT thinking about those things.
I think the reason I’ve felt stagnant in the last few years is because I’m just not challenging myself and, in creating surface-level content, I’m squashing my own opinions and not encouraging discord and deep conversations with my online community either, and as a freakin’ enneagram 8, I HAVE OPINIONS.
So, like I was telling my husband the other day, I’m going to have to be WAY more intentional about this moving forward - talking to my friends that push me, cultivating even more online friendships where I can have fun conversations, and creating content that pushes me.
Because, NINE years into creating YouTube content, I definitely think about WHY I’m doing it, like the BIG WHY.
Of course I’m doing it because that’s how I make money, of course I’m doing it because I love it, but WHAT KIND OF CONTENT DO I WANT TO PUT INTO THIS WORLD TO MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE?!?
I’m really changing my YouTube content to be more fun, challenging, and sassy, while I push myself to learn new things for every.single.video. and y’all are not ready.
I’ve spent the last several months thinking through what this looks like, coming up with criteria for the videos I create, topics, and even mottos to make sure each video is AMAZING.
For example: my motto for YouTube titles moving forward is, “have a fucking opinion”.
🤣
It’s an exciting time to be around, I promise!
Wait! Before you go 🛑 I am hosting a workshop THIS FRIDAY to help you navigate the world of Brand Deals - how to get them, how much to charge, how to pitch or handle pitches, even if you’re a small creator.
Register here ——> https://heyjessica.com/paidtocreate